You might be surprised to learn that becoming a tyrant is easy. You don’t need to learn new skills; you just have to remove your consciousness and you don’t have to do it all at once.
No lobotomy required. Once you start to become a tyrant, your self-awareness, awareness, and reasoning skills will atrophy and disappear. They will no longer be needed. In fact, they will only get in the way. Arrogance breeds ignorance and ignorance breeds arrogance.
You will have to pretend that you have more self-awareness, awareness, and rationality than everyone else. Do not worry. Your posture will be a substitute for having them.
Being a bully is fun and easy as long as people allow you to get away with it, which many will, if you do it right. Here is all there is to do.
- Trigger the loudest false alarms. Since desperate times call for desperate measures, declare the dishes sacred and you can get away with murder. Imagine the world is in crisis and you have to save it. Or to stay local, pretend your spouse has gotten naughty and you need to heroically save yourself from their betrayal. Either way, activate every emergency alarm you can imagine. People will back away at the sound of your siren, and your siren will help drown your awareness.
- False objectivity. Speak as you know for sure and everyone is just guessing (wrongly): outright assume your rivals are biased. Only you see clearly, objectively. The writing on the wall can only be interpreted in one way, yours. Everyone is delusional. Even if your interpretation is a hopeless lie, remember that anything is possible. Your interpretation might still be true. So it’s true.
- Turn to the maximum. Exaggerate your false crisis. Use superlatives. If you say your rivals are the worst, they can’t say you are worse. Declare your holy war crisis first and strongest. If they retaliate in kind, you can dismiss them as being defensive, just trying to evade the facts. Use loaded terms that make you look perfect and your rivals seem stupid, evil, biased, and weak. Turn their strengths into weaknesses and your weaknesses into strengths. If they manage to insult you, take it as a compliment. If they call you a jerk, wear it as a badge of honor. Either way, paint any virtue in yourself and any vice on anyone who doesn’t align with you.
- Ignore the meaning of the words. Never think about what the words mean, just whether they sound positive or negative. Everything positive is about you. Anything negative is about your rivals. If you have any residue of consciousness, it may not come naturally. Do not worry. Once tyranny becomes a reliable habit, you will stop thinking.
- Line up with the right name against the wrong name. Mark yourself with the most popular virtue against the most unpopular vice. You are a patriot; your rivals are traitors. You are attentive, your rivals are narcissists. You are with God; your rivals are with the devil. In this way, whoever challenges your authority attacks virtue itself.
- Act heroic no matter what. You must always maintain the appearance of invincibility. Never apologize. You are like a God, eternally righteous, just, and powerful. Even when you lose, you are mighty – the martyr hero who is destined to be resurrected because you are right and righteous.
- Cosplay and method act. Dress up and take on the role of the hero surrounded by stupid evil fools. Whatever your temperament or lifestyle, you can play the part methodically. It’s easy. No matter who you are, there is one Blockbuster movie hero you can pretend to be if you stop staring at who you really are.
- Never look at yourself. Tyrants are stupid puffed heads, undead megaphones, robotic crusaders. They take up the most space, but no one is home. They do not see themselves and refuse to allow others to see them. So speak as if you are the absolute authority over your character.
- Or let others watch you. Imagine that the greatest sin is personal attacks. Never tolerate someone calling you about your behavior. You are the authority over yourself and over everyone as well. You manage to psychologize others; they don’t psychologize you. And why? Because you are objective about everything, including yourself. Your rivals are just biased.
- Remember that you are the supreme judge. You don’t just give the authoritative account of what is true. You are the impartial supreme judge who presides over all the debates in which you participate. You decide what evidence is admissible in your court. You decide what gets debated and who wins each debate: you.
- Shame relentlessly. As the one who declares holy war, you are holy and therefore never have to face the consequences. No matter how bestial you act, you remain the moral authority. This is the key to getting away with being a tyrant. As long as your rivals still have a conscience, you can shame them into backing down and giving you carte blanche.
- It all depends on who has to lead. People still charged with conscience will try to reason with you. They will allow you to treat yourself as if you mean what you say. The power of a tyrant comes from his ability to lead the debate. You will look like a winner if you have the wheel and can lead your rivals on any subject.
If you follow these simple steps, most people will despise you but they won’t be able to beat you, and some people, maybe many, will align with you because you look powerful, indomitable. You will beat the people who care about substance and you will win the people who only follow power.
You’ll gain confidence as you go, and soon you’ll be a total jerk who’ll get away with a murder. You will be free from doubt, awareness and introspection. You will have faith that fate destined you for greatness.
Being a tyrant makes you feel like God, which is a lot more fun than being human, as long as people let you.