Even though it’s 2022 and everything is digitized, the directories still exist. We don’t know if high school kids are still lining up to buy one and then passing them around so their friends can write funny messages and draw devil horns on their exes’ photos, but at the very least most of students graduating these days have them submit a photo and quote to go in the yearbook. For many, it’s the one and only time they’ve ever been published (and given how inarticulate the internet has made humanity, it’s probably the only time they’ll see their name in print).
So the quote is a unique opportunity to stick it to the man – who, as we all know, is the main one (even if it’s a woman). While budding intellectuals quote Aristotle, nerds quote star warsgoth kids will quote Nine Inch Nails, artistic kids will quote Van Gogh, and pseudo insightful kids will quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, the coolest kids will write their own one-liners and make everyone who reads them laugh.
It’s in honor of these undercover comedians that we’ve scoured the internet for the funniest one-liners left in yearbooks by high schoolers and collected them for your reading pleasure. We only wish there was a time machine so we could go back and modify our own.